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Lifestyle

Ask Coach Carole

Carole Rehbock
Contributor
August 2008

The Power of Acknowledgment

Dear Coach Carole,

In one of your columns you talked about time management. I think I am good at that but always have the sense that I am not doing enough. No matter how much I plan or prioritize there is always another problem to solve or more to add to my ‘to do’ list. I don’t feel appreciated, especially at work, and find even when people do say nice things it does not sound sincere because there is always more work to follow.

I am highly organized and get things done but wish I had a greater sense of accomplishment. What suggestions do you have for someone in my situation?

Sincerely,

Underappreciated

Dear Underappreciated,

It is certainly true in today’s world that even when we are doing the right things and taking action in the right places we can feel frustrated especially if we are not being acknowledged. What I find true for myself and most of my clients is that acknowledging ourselves is very challenging as well as receiving recognition from others. Maybe it is time to focus on what has been accomplished. Accomplishment may be the wrong word, because we may automatically associate it with something big that we have done, rather than including the many smaller things we did to contribute to our work, families, relationships and community. I’d like to expand the word “accomplishment” to include the full range of successes that you have achieved and refer to “acknowledgment” as the more accurate word.

There are all kinds of things to acknowledge ourselves for, such as: giving someone encouragement, taking actions toward your work goals, taking the small steps toward your objectives even if you haven’t yet reached them, gaining new insights or learnings that helped you to grow personally or professionally, being able to say “yes”, or “no”, based on what was really important to you, supporting and contributing to co-workers, family and friends, finding time for recreation and experiencing times of joy.

Doesn’t it seem that it’s so much easier for us to focus on what we are not doing, rather than appreciating ourselves and acknowledging what we have done? We even overlook the major accomplishments and changes we have made. It often takes another person to reflect back to us what we have already dismissed, in order for us to see there is something to appreciate and even then we don’t always take in the praise. We have a voice that says, “Well, that wasn’t such a big thing;” “That is just my job and what is expected of me, that is nothing special,” or “Oh, they are just trying to make me feel good”.

Recently I was talking with a friend. I told her about some things I had not kept up with regarding my business. She then started listing all the things I had done regarding my work and a family situation that was challenging. As I took in her words I felt my energy shift from lethargy to “all is well”.

Granted, in today’s supercharged, 21st Century world there is always more to do. But sometimes we need to simply ‘be’ with what we have done and stop the “doing.” I saw two important things from this interaction with my friend: the first was the power of acknowledging others and being aware of what a contribution she made to me, and the second was a reminder for me to stop doing and start acknowledging.

Hope you are able to give yourself some acknowledgment and appreciate your time management and ability to set priorities.

Regards,

Coach Carole

Carole Rehbock is the President and Founder of Consulting & Coaching Solutions. You can reach Carole at carole@rehbocksolutions.com or 510- 843-6417.